Gratitude
Reading from Edmund Chen's book "Growing Deep in God: Integrating Theology and Prayer"
I'm not much of a reader, but i love his writings and books, so i figured in a new year, this would be a good place to start to pen down my thoughts and also use this as a medium to encourage my disciples in their walk. (Gid, Kim: I hope you are reading this).
But more so, this is for me. Life has become so busy that i need to type to slow down. Or my mind just rushes through.
Gratitude Glorifies God
---------------------------------
"It seems to me that the greatest spiritual danger among Christians is not hating God, but taking God for granted."-- Edmund Chan
I realise that i take God for granted very often in my actions. Very often, i know that God has taken care of me and has given me favor, and my heart is grateful. But you know what? My actions and daily thoughts are totally the opposite.
I have a horrible tendency, and that is to compare. I like to compare with other people. They have more, they look better, this guy is funnier, the other one is more popular, she is richer and this thought pattern goes on. When do i stop and remember that God has been good to me and He has a plan and purpose for my life. And that He has showered much upon me, more than i deserve? Where is the gratitude?
I really need this at the core of my soul, to remember that He has given me the greatest gift of all, my salvation. I am set free from sin, i can freely come to God and fellowship with Him, but yet... ... I often don't. I choose to sin, i choose to ignore God. Where is the gratitude?
Perhaps i do not understand the enormity of this gift of salvation from God? I take it for granted. Sigh... ...
And in my daily life, He has been blessing me. My work, my job, being able to experience life overseas, favor, my marriage, my finances... when i look at it, what do i lack? Nothing, except my relationship with Him.
I'm beginning to feel it. An emptiness in my heart. I've tried material things, they don't fill the emptiness for long. Humor, that doesn't last long either. Friends and relationship, the emptiness is filled more but something is missing.
Then there is God. I'm convinced that He fills this emptiness fully. I have experienced it before, but as the troubles and hurts in the past years piled up, and then after i started to work, i went further and further away from Him. Sheesh, how did i fall so far? Seriously... I surmise that it could be like gaining weight, it creeps up on you. slowly, every moment of neglect, every extra bite, every lack of exercise... before you know it, you gained 20kg. And like with God, you suddenly realise that you have strayed so far and you don't know how to stop.
I am grateful to God. But i want to be truly grateful, the kind of grateful that translate to my thought life and to my actions. I need to slow down and make time to be with God.
But even in my state, Luzanne reminded me this. This realisation of where i am, of what is happening to my spiritual walk, is a grace from God. The desire, however weak, to want to be close to God again, is from God, working in me.
God is control. (regardless of what i think)
God cares for me. (regardless of what i may be feeling at the moment)
There is hope in Him and there is hope for me!
I just need to remember to take baby steps now. towards Him.
I will give thanks to Him for all that He has done and all that He will do.
And a lesson i got from the chapter of the book that i'm reading is this:
Prayer is listening to God.
Prayer is "Speak, Lord, for Thy servant servant Heareth" NOT
"Hear, Lord, for Thy servant Speaketh"
I'm learning to listen.
(side note, i realise that most of my posts don't gel logically, but its just me typing out whatever i think)
I'm not much of a reader, but i love his writings and books, so i figured in a new year, this would be a good place to start to pen down my thoughts and also use this as a medium to encourage my disciples in their walk. (Gid, Kim: I hope you are reading this).
But more so, this is for me. Life has become so busy that i need to type to slow down. Or my mind just rushes through.
Gratitude Glorifies God
---------------------------------
"It seems to me that the greatest spiritual danger among Christians is not hating God, but taking God for granted."-- Edmund Chan
I realise that i take God for granted very often in my actions. Very often, i know that God has taken care of me and has given me favor, and my heart is grateful. But you know what? My actions and daily thoughts are totally the opposite.
I have a horrible tendency, and that is to compare. I like to compare with other people. They have more, they look better, this guy is funnier, the other one is more popular, she is richer and this thought pattern goes on. When do i stop and remember that God has been good to me and He has a plan and purpose for my life. And that He has showered much upon me, more than i deserve? Where is the gratitude?
I really need this at the core of my soul, to remember that He has given me the greatest gift of all, my salvation. I am set free from sin, i can freely come to God and fellowship with Him, but yet... ... I often don't. I choose to sin, i choose to ignore God. Where is the gratitude?
Perhaps i do not understand the enormity of this gift of salvation from God? I take it for granted. Sigh... ...
And in my daily life, He has been blessing me. My work, my job, being able to experience life overseas, favor, my marriage, my finances... when i look at it, what do i lack? Nothing, except my relationship with Him.
I'm beginning to feel it. An emptiness in my heart. I've tried material things, they don't fill the emptiness for long. Humor, that doesn't last long either. Friends and relationship, the emptiness is filled more but something is missing.
Then there is God. I'm convinced that He fills this emptiness fully. I have experienced it before, but as the troubles and hurts in the past years piled up, and then after i started to work, i went further and further away from Him. Sheesh, how did i fall so far? Seriously... I surmise that it could be like gaining weight, it creeps up on you. slowly, every moment of neglect, every extra bite, every lack of exercise... before you know it, you gained 20kg. And like with God, you suddenly realise that you have strayed so far and you don't know how to stop.
I am grateful to God. But i want to be truly grateful, the kind of grateful that translate to my thought life and to my actions. I need to slow down and make time to be with God.
But even in my state, Luzanne reminded me this. This realisation of where i am, of what is happening to my spiritual walk, is a grace from God. The desire, however weak, to want to be close to God again, is from God, working in me.
God is control. (regardless of what i think)
God cares for me. (regardless of what i may be feeling at the moment)
There is hope in Him and there is hope for me!
I just need to remember to take baby steps now. towards Him.
I will give thanks to Him for all that He has done and all that He will do.
And a lesson i got from the chapter of the book that i'm reading is this:
Prayer is listening to God.
Prayer is "Speak, Lord, for Thy servant servant Heareth" NOT
"Hear, Lord, for Thy servant Speaketh"
I'm learning to listen.
(side note, i realise that most of my posts don't gel logically, but its just me typing out whatever i think)

